From Childhood to College 

 I was born into the church and have had Jesus beside me my entire life. However, throughout my childhood I had this idea that I could “earn” God’s love and God’s salvation. Coupled with this, I believed if I just had enough faith in Christ I would be saved. During my middle school and high school years, I was very fortunate to be corrected and disciplined by my home church pastor. He helped me understand from the Scripture that so long as we are truly repentful of our sins, and believe in Christ as our sole Lord and Savior, we will have eternal life. 

Going into college my older sister (unfortunately not a Christian) whom I have immense respect for basically gave me three goals to achieve in college: get an internship, get good grades, and get a girlfriend. As someone who had very little direction, I took this to heart and set out on doing so. Eventually, sometime during the start of my second semester I had all three of these things and yet I had felt the most empty I have ever felt in my life. My brain was in this haze of nothingness. Everything felt pointless. 

Searching for meaning and fulfillment in life

Then came spring break, that was when I had met my friend Ben, who drove me back to NOVA. During our car ride we basically yapped for two hours about where happiness lies. And we came to the conclusion that serving the Lord, wherever he calls us to do or go was the only way to achieve long term fulfillment. With these ideas, I flew to Seattle to meet family for spring break. There I met my cousin’s husband, who I also yapped for hours to understand the faith with logic and evidence and where to find fulfillment. That experience sparked my journey to find evidence for my faith. I started reading a lot of Christian literature. To date, I have read Expository Apologetics by Voddie Baucham and Can Science Explain Everything by John C. Lennox, and am working on much more. 

A newborn faith anchored in Christ alone

Through these conversations and studies, I have found a newborn faith, one of evidence, one of rationale, and one of foundation. No longer am I trying to earn God’s favor, no longer am I trying to prove myself worthy. I was born a sinner and will be a sinner until I die. I understand that and my only means of salvation is in Christ alone (where my hope is found). 

Reflecting back, the first year was really a section of time where I got to know the facts of God, who he is and why he is. But right now in second year, while I am still working on these things, I am especially working on truly knowing God and being known by him on this truly personal and deep level. And as a whole, seeing how much I have come from my video game addicted high school years has truly been so powerful and is a testament to how great my God is.